coachKidsSports.com

The reason sport is attractive to many of the general public is that it's filled with reversals. What you think may happen doesn't happen. A champion is beaten, an unknown becomes a champion. - Roger Bannister

Coaching, writing, working, parenting; sometimes it they make it seem like Sisyphus had it easy.  But then you get an email like I did last week and perspective is restored and life is great.

I was out of town last week for a conference.  I was actually at Disney World — without my family for the first time.  This did not sit with them very well, even though I told them I wasn't going to the park and wouldn't have much time to enjoy the wonders of Disney World.  The fact was I was going to the Mouse House and they weren't.

The conference was packed with classes and I was running from one thing to the next.  I was only able to squeeze in a couple of minutes a day to check my email.  On Wednesday morning I got an email that someone had sent in a nomination for Coach of the Month.  I don't get enough of these, but when I do I love to read about great coaches and what it is people love about them.  When I opened this nomination I knew the coach was ineligible to win, it came from my son.

HE NEVER GAVE UP ON A KID THAT COULDN'T DO SOME DRILL I SHOULD KNOW HE WAS MY COACH AND HE DIDN'T SAY "WE HAVE TO WIN"

You never know what they pick up on, you just hope it's the good things you do rather that the weaknesses we all have.  Thanks kid, you made my year.

I've been out of town without frequent internet access…  I'm not scouting the next big thing, but there are other things in life…

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. - Henry Ford

I've been very busy lately working on a new project — details to come soon.  I've been pushing myself into areas I never considered before, thinking about things I've often taken for granted.  In the process of doing my due diligence I was looking at websites by other people with the same interests.  Every site I'd visit would lead to more questions or ideas - sometimes both.  Finally I realized that every single site I visited had an About page and every one of those pages had an email address.  Imagine that…

I realized that instead of just reading the site and trying to figure out the details myself, a quick email to the site's owner would be a heck of a lot more productive.  And it was — imagine that…  By reaching out to those people, they gladly shared the wisdom of their experience.  In fact I learned more in an afternoon of email and phone calls than I could have in 6 months otherwise.

The collected wisdom of the western world is at your fingertips.  The Internet can answer questions you didn't even know you had.  But for some things you gotta connect with the person on the other side of the keyboard. 

On this site I've been an advocate of using the Internet to find new drills and practice plans.  The Internet is a great way to find that information — I can't imagine not having it as a tool.  But in your search, don't forget about the person on the other side of the glass.  There's probably a lot more that hasn't gone onto the site.  You won't get a response from everybody, but the responses you do get will be invaluable.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

They say you can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy.  A hockey coach in Montreal is trying to prove that the same thing applies to hockey goons.

Clint Butler was a professional hockey player rising as high as the Ligue Nord-Américaine de Hockey, a Quebec based minor league.  While playing professionally, Clint didn't make anyone forget Gretzky, Keith Gretzky…  In 67 professional games Clint got both kinds of points, a goal and an assist, for a grand total of two professional points. 

But what he lacked in touch he made up for in touching; usually with a fist, sometimes a stick, a glove or an elbow.  In his short career, Butler managed to spend 542 minutes in the penalty box.  That's over 8 minutes a game!  That's a fighting penalty plus a regular penalty, with a minute left over.  Not included in that total is the 35 game suspension he received just two years ago for going into the stands after a fan.  To be fair it was 25 games for the fight with the fan, the other 10 was tacked on for assaulting a linesman.

Just the kind of guy I want behind the bench of my son's team…  But yet he was coaching his son's Bantam (13-14) team this year. 

Apparently the son was looking to prove another saying — "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" — in a game this week.  During the game he threw a punch at an opposing player.  At that level a single punch is cause for immediate ejection and possible suspension.  Yet Clint didn't like those rules.  He immediately started yelling at the official, then started with the physical abuse.

When Marcotte (referee) then ejected the coach, they said Butler began throwing water bottles on to the ice before pulling plywood from the timekeeper’s bench and hurling it toward Marcotte.

So what does it take to embarass a 13 year old hockey player?

Butler’s younger son reportedly tried to stop the incident from escalating further, grabbing his father’s leg and pleading: "Stop, Dad!" 

Apparently flying construction materials do the trick in the Butler household.  I am glad to see that someone has a sense of perspective, too bad it's the kid who was throwing punches five minutes earlier.

And the award for Understatement So Extreme it Should be British:

"Other coaches have got one or two-year suspensions, but in this case it was more extreme. He amplified things. The plywood — that’s the first time we see this."

 And I hope the last.

Mistakes in themselves are unavoidable. - Ernest Mandel

Last week I did a PCA presentation to a local park district.  There were coaches from several different sports and they all seemed receptive to the message.

The structure of the presentation allows for some participation, but it's usually afterwards that the stories and the true opinions come out.  I spoke to one coach for about 10 minutes after the meeting.  He seemed very excited about the PCA message.  He said he was happy to have the park district sponsor the PCA meeting because of some of the behavior he was starting to see at the games. 

He expanded on a story that was told during the session.  His son's football team lost a regional finals game 2-0 after a referee called holding in the endzone, awarding the other team a 2 point safety.  He said the call was close, but wrong.  However he was shocked at the parents reaction.  They had to be stopped from attacking the referee.  We all get emotionally involved in our kid's activities, and this was a major event - the winner went to Disney World to play for the National Championship.  Losing such a close game to a bad call is frustrating in the extreme, but the loss of perspective is the real tragedy.  The coach hoped that the PCA program would be a welcome reminder to the coaches and parents to regain perspective about their kid's sports.  I hope he's right.

Another coach I talked with after the presentation wasn't too sure about something I said.  One of the principles of PCA is "Mistakes are OK".  As coaches we are working with kids to help them master the sport.  If they aren't free to make mistakes they aren't free to push their personal boundaries and improve.  I related John Wooden's Piggy Lambert story — the team that makes the most mistakes in a game usually wins — and went through some of the mistake rituals coaches use with their teams.  This coach came up to me afterward and said, "I like the stuff you're talking about, but I just can't get my head around this mistake thing."

Accepting mistakes is the hardest part of coaching.  You don't want mistakes, you want you team to execute flawlessly every time.  But you also want each kid to improve and, when necessary, be willing to take a chance.  If a kid isn't willing to risk making a mistake then he won't do either of those things.  Good things happen when we push our abilities, but not always. 

As a coach, how you handle the not always goes a long way in determining how often the good things happen.

Golf is a solitary game, that's why I think it's one of the hardest to coach.  Unlike any other sport I can think of, golf is a test of self.  So a golf coach has to be part technician and part psychologist.

I was reminded of that when I opened last month's Golf Digest.  There was an article about Eddie Merins, the Club Pro Emeritus at Bel Aire CC and former UCLA golf coach.

The article is a wide ranging discussion with a man who has been a part of the game for over 50 years.  He has played with or coached nearly every great player in that period.  It's obvious from the interview he knows the game as well as anyone.  But what struck me was the way he communicated the message.  Every golfer knows not to swing up on the ball.  But as Merins says, it's the most common swing flaw in the game.  Do you think you'd be more likely to cure that problem if your pro gave you a drill or if he told you this:

Now, have you ever stood on the tee waiting your turn to play, and you swipe at a cigarette butt, broken tee or something else just lying there? You have to swing level to hit it, right? Well, that's how you want to hit your driver. Try to knock the tee over with your swing. Just knock it out of the ground. This is how you hit the ball solidly and find the distance and accuracy you've been looking for.

I love the lack of pretention in the remedy.  He sees a problem then explains the solution in a simple manner.  The message is that you are already doing the right things, just in the wrong context.  Here is the correct context.  Makes all the difference in the world.

Merins was the golf coach at UCLA at the same time some guy named Wooden was running the basketball team.  He tells a revealing story about both Wooden and the PGA.

I'll tell you why we're losing the Ryder Cup. Years ago John Wooden came by and gave my UCLA golf team a lecture. He spoke for an hour and 20 minutes, and not once did he mention the word "winning." All he talked about was preparation….  The U.S. team is obsessed with winning, about getting the Cup back. It's all the players talk about. Somehow they're focusing on the end result instead of what they need to do to win. It's distracting and adds to the pressure. Tom Lehman talked with Coach Wooden, but the team never realized that winning is a reward, not a goal.

Winning is a reward, not a goal.  I think I've found a new credo.

Behold I do not give lectures or a little charity, When I give I give myself. - Walt Whitman

Christmas is always busy, there are hundreds of things to do on top of the thousands of things you already do everyday.  But every once in a while there are moments that cut through the fog.  I was lucky enough to have one of those moments while wrapping presents with my young daughter just before Christmas and it taught me four lessons:

• Neatness is over-rated
  I've never liked wrapping presents.  I get worked up trying to make the corners neat and the sides match perfectly.  It's almost enough to make me swear off buying odd shaped presents, except my wife likes odd (and small) shaped presents…  It was great seeing the joy my daughter got out of covering a box in wrapping paper, regardless of how the edges match up.  She realizes, maybe without knowing, that the wrapping is temporary.  Concentrate on the important things and let the little things slide.

• But a plan is necessary
  My daughter showed me not to worry about getting everything perfect, but it helps to have an idea about the general size and shape of the gift.  Your practice doesn't have to be perfect, but you do need to have an idea on what you want to accomplish.

• Presentation is important; The littlest gift looks better when it's wrapped
  As we were wrapping presents I realized that even the stocking gifts, that were rolled more than wrapped, added to the holiday feel.  The gift may have cost $3.27, but add wrapping paper and a box of Altoids becomes something special.  Add a little something different to the everyday things to give your team a fresh sense of perspective.

• In the end, it's for the kids…
  My daughter loves wrapping presents, I don't.  My daughter gets a kick out of the entire process, I'd like it to be over as quickly as possible.  I get more out of coaching, but nothing compares to seeing the smile on my kid's faces.

My favorite post was one of my first, and also one of my favorite coaching stories.  In fact I had this story rattling around in my head so long I had to build a website to share it…  Originally posted August 3rd, 2006, it's:

The First Rule of Soccer

By : Coach Bigs

Kids even find joy in things that annoy adults. Allen Klein

"What's the number one rule of soccer?" I ask the six year olds assembled on the elementary school yard. It's the first day of practice and for many, the first organized practice ever. They fidget a bit, picking the grass around thier spot, each unsure of themselves. I could see a few thinking "Is this a test? No one said there would be a test!! I'm only a kindergartner, there aren't any tests in kindergarten!"

Sensing their anxiety, I try to coax them into an answer by prompting them, "I'm sure some of you have played before, and some of you have an older brother or sister who has played. So, what's the number one rule of soccer??"

Their courage is raising, I can see a few faces brighten. Then one meekly answers, "Don't use your hands". The others nod in agreement, they would have said it if she hadn't said it so quickly.

"Noooooooo!!!" I say in mock exasperation, "The number one rule of soccer is 'Don't pick your nose!!!' The number TWO rule of soccer is don't use your hands…'"

You know, I don't think I've ever had a kid forget either rule…

If you've read this site before you know I believe coaching is teaching.  What is the highest honor given to a teacher?  The Golden Apple Award.  You may not be eligible for a real one, but on August 30th I gave you some tips on how to be a better teacher anyway.

5 Steps to a Golden Apple Award

By : Coach Bigs

The eye of the master will do more work than both his hands. - Benjamin Franklin

As a coach it's your job to teach, so if you're going to be a better coach, you need to be a better teacher.  Here are five things you can do at your next practice which will make it — and you — more effective.

Take a knee – Especially with the youngest players, getting down on one knee when talking to a player helps get your point across.  Bring yourself to their level, maintain eye contact and talk directly to the kids.  Taking a knee helps maintain eye contact.  It's easier on you than bending at the waist, it also allows for a more natural conversation between you and the player.

Ask more questions — You're the coach, you should have all the answers, right??  Maybe so, even if it's only 10 seconds before the kids know the answers, but that doesn't mean the best way for kids to learn is for you to tell them the answer.  Ask questions — lots of them.  Challenge the kids to remember what you've taught them.  Challenge them to understand game situations.  Get them thinking as they are practicing.  Scrimmages are a great time to ask the questions.  During any short break, announce the game situation then ask one or more players what they should do.  "Runners on second and third, second base, where do you go with the ball if it's hit to you?".  "Red throw in.  Red team, where should you be?"  Sometimes you aren't looking for a verbal answer, you just want to see the correct action.  Other times you'll want the player to answer so you know if she understands the concept.  Either way, resist the temptation to give the answer.  Sometimes they will surprise you with a different perspective on the situation.

Smaller is better — Practice in small groups.  I try to divide my teams into four groups with three practice stations.  That leaves two small group activities and one larger activity.  Assign the coaches depending on the level of attention the drill requires.  Many times I'll have one assistant, so I recruit (forcibly draft) a parent from the sidelines.  I ask them to monitor the drill the team is most familiar with and requires the least intervention from the coaches.

Fundamentals are fundamental — If you've ever watched professional sports you have heard an announcer lament that today's players have poor fundamentals.  Of course, this has been an epidemic since the Roosevelt administration — Teddy — so the announcer is probably remembering a time that didn't exist.  But that doesn't mean fundamentals aren't important.  When kids master the fundamentals they enjoy the game more.  Chose one or two fundamentals to concentrate on for the season and build your practices around mastery of those skills.

Tell 'em, show 'em, then tell 'em again  –  Introducing a new drill can be a difficult experience.  You have to take a lot of time to explain the drill then three times as much time correcting the players as they try the drill.  Next time try a three step approach; Verbally explain the drill, physically demonstrate the drill, then reiterate the first two by going over the drill again.

1. Explain the drill — do not demonstrate the drill or turn your team's attention from your words in any way.  You want them concentrating on what you are saying, visualization will come next.
2. Demonstrate the drill — do not talk during the demonstration or otherwise divert attention from the physical demonstration of the drill.  All attention should be on the demonstration.
3. Explain the drill again — bring the first two parts together.  Reiterate what was said and what was shown to allow the kids to process it further.

This three step approach gives the kids more time and more ways to understand the drill.  You'll have an easier time introducing new drills and getting them to actually work.

If I'm putting together a top 5 list, I don't know how I can leave this one off.  My first post represents my coaching philosophy in a couple hundred words.  I asked a simpe question to start this web site back on August 1st:

Can You Coach?

By : Coach Bigs

Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability. — John Wooden

I've been fortunate to coach both my son and daughter for several years in a few different sports. Working with them and their teammates has been a wonderful experience. I've learned how my kids react to wins and losses, how they handle success and I've helped them learn how to cope with adversity. Another benefit of my time with the whistle is learning the same things about thier friends. Not only do I know the children my kids will grow up with, but it's given me a better understanding of what to expect from my kids.

But when I volunteered (more accurately, was volunteered), the first time, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I had played almost every sport growing up — if you kept score, I wanted to play — but I wasn't sure about structuring a practice and working with the kids.

I learned pretty quickly that those skills, while very important, can be learned. For the drills, I bought a book. At last count, Amazon returns 259 books when searching for Soccer Drills, (don't worry, I've narrowed it down a bit for you in the Stuff You Need section). As far as handling kids, I knew I would have an assistant, I figured we could divide and conquer…

So you can buy the drills, and you're a parent so handling the kids is no problem, so anyone can be a coach, right…. To quote Lee Corso, not so fast my friend. I found coaching to be fun and rewarding. What it has given me is far more than anything I put into it. But, coaching isn't for everyone. I've seen many coaches who are on the sidelines for the wrong reasons and that leads to problems with their kids and/or the other players on the roster.

The challenges for a rec league coach are different than for a coach in a highly competitive league. The expecations are different. But that doesn't mean that it's easier to coach a rec league team, I actually think it's more difficult. In a competitive league, everyone has the same goal, winning. Parents will disagree on the tactics — my Suzy would have scored on that play — but there is no disputing the ultimate goal of the team. Rec leagues present a different challenge. Not every kid has the same level of dedication, drive or talent. Some parents want to see victories, others want to get the kid out of the house for an hour. As a rec league coach you have a balancing act to manage those different expectations.

I believe there are five traits of a good rec league coach. They are present in varying degrees in different people, but I think they are all important regardless of the sport.

You will be a good coach if:

1. You like kids You aren't coaching in the World Series. These are kids and the best of them will make you pull your hair out. Enjoy the kids for their enthusiasm rather than trying to keep them from being kids.
2. You understand the basics of your sport This isn't the pros, but don't volunteer to coach if you aren't sure why hockey is played on skates. As I said above, you can buy some knowledge. So you'll either have to bring some into the party, or spend more time getting prepared before the season starts.
3. You are willing to teach John Wooden said that coaching is teaching and who am I to argue? No one is born with the innate sense of the perfect fundamentals of any sport. As a youth coach it's your job to teach the fundamental skills to your team.
4. You can commit sufficient time If you know everything there is to know about your sport, if you can make kids listen and learn through the force of your personality, but you have too many other obligations to devote time to the team you're better off taking a pass. I never found coaching to be overly time consuming, however you are making a promise to be there and be prepared. If the time committment concerns you, volunteer as an assistant. Whatever help you can provide is appreciated and maybe you'll learn you can manage one more thing in your schedule.
5. You are willing to coach the entire roster Your child has you at practice. The star players never have to worry about getting noticed. But it's easy to overlook the marginal kid. Maybe he doesn't want to be there, maybe she isn't very talented, but they are all on your roster. If you're in a rec league, you'll have these kids on your team and the better you can teach those kids, the better your team will be.
   I had a father tell me at the beginning of a season that his daughter was his third child and neither of the older two had ever scored a goal. Jokingly, he said if she scored a goal he could "die a happy man", but after the first practice I thought he would go through life unfulfilled. I continued to work with her and put her in situations where she could succeed. It took two seasons and a bunch of close calls, but the look on her face when she scored was only matched by her father's.